The objective is for you to implement adjustments that will make it easier for you to achieve a balance between listening and talking in your communication.
The intention is to improve your capacity to listen and appreciate what is being communicated without losing the ability to get your message across.
The rationale behind this is that you are missing opportunities as a direct result of communication deficiencies which can be easily resolved once you put your mind to it.
You will achieve better results and find that you will be even more persuasive and influential than before.
Traditional Dominance Style Approach To Communication
??Take control of the communication process.
Focus on getting your message across to others.
Tip the scales in favor of talking as against listening.
Interrupt if necessary to block unfavorable input from the other side and to reinforce your message.
Place the responsibility on the other side to get their message out. That is not in your job description.
Lessons from a quiz show
The Schools??? Challenge Quiz televised on TVJ has a highly competitive ???buzzer??? section towards the end of the quiz. In that section, the team that presses the buzzer first gets to answer the question that is posed. There is a bonus for correct answers and a penalty for wrong answers.
Teams sometimes try to get an edge by pressing the buzzer before the question is completed. That requires a dangerous level of assumption since the quiz master stops at the point of the interruption. In many instances, teams find themselves offering answers to questions that were not asked.
??Tips for Dominance Style Adjustment
1 The quiz situation highlights the dangers you face when you fail to listen carefully to all that is being communicated to you. You may miss important details that could be important for the overall outcome.
2 Take time to notice the body language of the sender of the message and the conditions surrounding the communication. Words are reported to communicate only 7% of meaning.
3 People often get the uncomfortable feeling that you are only catching your breath or collecting your thoughts when it is their turn to speak. There is a feeling that you are not really listening to what they have to say and that what they are saying has little impact on your responses. Re-stating what you hear is a great antidote to that problem.
4 It might be useful for you to think of your conversations as taking place over a two-way radio system. Each party has to pass the ???right to speak??? over to the other when they have finished what they want to say.
Try to get some signal that the other person is finished before you start. It will send a different kind of message to others and increase the effectiveness of your communication.
5??Recognize that listening and understanding situations from the point of view of others is of equal importance as simply rehashing your talking points.
This requires the discipline to actually listen to what is being said and to try to appreciate their perceptions. This is so even if you disagree with what is being communicated.
6??The first step in achieving this objective is counting the cost. Focus on the negative effects of not understanding the other party???s point of view.
7??Combat your desire to move on without undue delay by placing a value on the information that you can glean from listening carefully for just a while longer.
Missing some vital information could set you back so far that it could derail the entire process. That is not a winning strategy!
8??Stretch yourself into adopting a more S/C style posture: Listening with empathy; genuine interest in what the other person has to say; slow to speak; considerate; diplomatic.
9??Adopting the S/C posture is perhaps best achieved if you accept that the speed at which things go is not the most important factor in all situations.
If you recognize that moving quickly may actually cause you to lose a competitive edge it will help in getting you to muster the level of patience that you will require to improve your listening.
10 One key to success is to use your capacity for responding quickly to build your arguments on the platform of what others say.
You wait until something is said. This gives you some insight into what the other party is thinking. You then make a response that seeks to move the discussion in the direction that you want.??You then await the next comment and follow the same strategy.
When it comes down to the bottom line, effective listening is a most powerful weapon.
You are going to achieve considerably more success as you improve your listening skills.
Trevor E S Smith is a Director of the Success with People??? Academy ??? A SHRM Preferred Provider and home the SHRM-accredited 3-D Team Leader Certification: Leading Difficult, Dominant and Diverse Personalities and the Certified Behavioral Coach Award.
??Earn Professional Development Credits to be applied in your SHRM CP and SCP Recertification.
??The Success with People Academy team provides Personal Behavioral DNA Analyses and 360 surveys on the revolutionary FinxS??? Platform from Extended DISC???.